Am I Being Controlled by My Partner?

Ravi Shankar
Ravi Shankar
Founder, GuyID · Dating Safety Researcher · 13+ Years in Data Analytics

Control does not always look dramatic. It can look like concern, protectiveness, or even love. But if the result is that your freedom, choices, and autonomy are restricted — regardless of the framing — that is control.

Control Often Sounds Like

These phrases disguise control:

  • 'I just worry about you' — while tracking your location
  • 'I want us to spend more time together' — while isolating you from friends
  • 'Let me handle the finances' — while restricting your access to money
  • 'I do not like how they influence you' — while undermining your relationships
  • 'You do not need to work' — while creating economic dependence

The Control Assessment

Evaluate 8 dimensions of your relationship power dynamic.

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Assess Your Power Dynamic

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Frequently Asked Questions

Is coercive control abuse?+

Yes. Coercive control is recognized as a form of domestic abuse by major organizations and is criminalized in several jurisdictions.

Ravi Shankar

About the Author

Ravi Shankar

Founder, GuyID · Dating Safety Researcher · 13+ Years in Data Analytics

Ravi Shankar is the founder of GuyID and a Principal Data Analyst with over 13 years of experience in data and analytics. He created the 2026 Dating Safety Survey and built GuyID's suite of 60 free dating safety tools to bring data-driven verification to online dating. His research on catfishing, romance scams, and dating manipulation has been cited across the dating safety community.

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